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Many couples shy away from divorce as they feel that it will put the development and future of their children at risk. It’s usually very difficult to determine whether staying together in a loveless marriage is better for the children or not, but that’s what we aim to discuss in this article. We’ll talk about the pros and cons of staying together for your children’s sake so that you can make a better decision for your family.

The Cons:
When two people who don’t love each other are forced to remain under the same roof, it may exacerbate the problems in their marriage. People don’t enjoy feeling trapped with someone they no longer feel comfortable with, and it can be extremely awkward for children to grow up in an environment where their parents don’t talk to each other. In worse cases, the parents may be physically or verbally abusive towards each other. It’s safe to say that children shouldn’t be exposed to a situation like that, as it may make them harbor anger, hatred, or resentment towards one or both of their parents.

Instead of teaching them to deal with their emotions in a healthy manner, this toxic environment may teach children to use aggression and violence. Therefore, if the parents are not in good terms with one another, it’s best that they part ways, as that will be best for everyone involved.

The Pros:
If both parents are willing to put aside their differences to create the best environment to raise their children in, that can actually help their kids a great deal. It’s a great way to teach your kids that there are ways to deal with issues while being calm, civil, and collected. These qualities are becoming increasingly rare in our society, as people are often quick to judge others based on their emotions and personal biases. Therefore, creating an environment that combats these tendencies will help your children grow up knowing how to solve interpersonal problems properly.

It’s not always easy to create a positive environment to raise your children in, but if you work together with your spouse, you will most likely succeed in doing so.

How to Decide Whether I Should Stay or Not:
There are many factors you need to consider when deciding whether to get a divorce or not. Here are some of them:

// Is there abuse?
If there’s any type of abuse involved, it’s safe to assume that the marriage is a lost cause. Not only does abuse hurt the other spouse, but it will make your children think that it’s acceptable to express their feelings in such a destructive way. Additionally, kids should never grow up in an environment that’s full of fear, as it will hinder their physical and psychological development. If abuse is a factor, it’s best to get a divorce and fight for custody of your children.

// Are the parents willing to communicate with one another?
This is an important factor that will help you decide whether to get a divorce or not. When both parties aren’t willing to work together, it will be impossible to save their marriage. It requires a high level of maturity, responsibility, and sacrifices by both parties to ensure that the marriage will turn out well. If neither party is willing to put in the work, the only solution will be to get a divorce.

// Is the couple committed to making the marriage work?
If both parties want to stay together, they will have to show they are willing to put in the work to keep their marriage alive. They will have to attend couples therapy and do other things to stay together. Most of the time, the most challenging thing to reestablish is trust, as it’s something that takes years to build but only seconds to destroy. Therefore, the couple needs to prove they are committed to patching things up—or at the very least, that they are willing to set aside their problems for their children’s sake.

If you’re looking for legal advice on your divorce, Judith Goldberg’s Law Office is your best option. Get in touch with us today to see how we can help.

Judith Goldberg, Attorney & Mediator.   Connect With Judith



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