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Individuals who are about to finalize an ongoing divorce process may wonder if it’s alright for them to go out on a date. It’s understandable for you to feel a bit apprehensive. On top of mind, the logical and practical answer would be to wait until the divorce is final. However, life is a continuous mystery. What if someone comes along and you’d like to get to know him or her better?
It’s not uncommon for people going through a divorce process to feel lonely and stressed out. It is human nature to want to go out and mingle with others. There’s also that longing to feel attractive and desirable again, especially when one went through a tough married life. This is why many soon-to-be divorcees think that going on a friendly date won’t possibly hurt, particularly if the other party’s doing it too.
You see, if you’re the one who wanted this divorce more than your legal spouse, you shouldn’t do anything that might compromise the process. There might not be an issue if it’s clear that both of you are hoping to move on and let go as soon as possible. Your spouse may not use your dating against you. However, if you know for yourself that your husband or wife’s party might use it against you, you better be extra careful.

How Dating Can Affect Your Divorce

Legally speaking, dating is simply having one-on-one contact with another individual. It doesn’t matter if your date is romantic or simply platonic in nature, even though the romantic and sexual dates are those that cause the most issues.
The reason your lawyer might oppose dating while your divorce is pending is the fact that it can prolong the process if used against you. This means added stress and expense. If you didn’t separate from your spouse amicably, they might request for the person you’re dating to be asked questions under oath and testify at trial.
The primary purpose of these actions is to determine if your relationship began before the divorce was filed and if it could be the reason behind your filing. It will also be investigated if any marital property were given to the person.
Even if you’re confident that nothing will come out of such questioning, it will still mean additional cost and aggravation that could have been avoided if you didn’t date in the first place.

Dating During Divorce: Dos and Don’ts

Perhaps you’re a naturally sociable person and can’t just wait for the divorce to be finalized before going out to meet new people. The good thing is you can still do so, but you need to remember the following:

Don’t date if you haven’t yet physically separated from your spouse.

Don’t do anything inappropriate, especially with your children (if any) around. It might be better not to introduce your new friend to your children yet as well.

Don’t go out alone with your new acquaintance as much as possible.

Don’t get pregnant or someone else pregnant.

Do socialize in groups.

Do tell the new person about your situation.

Do exchange information but avoid one-on-one contact.

Do find a support group that can help you cope with the loneliness and isolation so that you’ll have another outlet besides dating someone new.

Judith Goldberg, Attorney & Mediator.   Connect With Judith

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